The Secret Santa Questionnaire: 18 Questions That Actually Help
I have read more of these forms than anyone should. The pattern is always the same: twelve questions, eleven of them charming, and not one of them tells the person holding your name what to put in the box. Favourite colour is not a gift brief. "I like coffee" is not a gift brief either — it is how you end up with your fourth mug.
A questionnaire has exactly one job: turn a stranger, or a colleague you have said nine words to, into someone who can buy you something you will keep. Below is the version I would hand out, plus what to change for coworkers, for a classroom, and for the aunt who says she needs nothing.
The three questions that do most of the work
If you only ask three things, ask these. Everything after them is refinement.
- Name two or three specific things you would happily receive (a brand, a title, a shop, a link — not a category)
- What should nobody buy you? (the fastest way to avoid the candle, the mug, the novelty socks)
- Where does the gift go? (desk, home address, or "hand it to me at the party")
The word doing the lifting is specific. "Books" gets you a book you own. "Anything by Ursula Le Guin except The Dispossessed" gets you a gift. Ask for specifics explicitly, or people default to categories out of politeness.
The full questionnaire — copy and paste
Eighteen questions, grouped so you can cut whole blocks depending on the crowd. Paste them into a message, a form or a shared doc as they are.
- Your name (and how you spell it — the gift tag matters)
- Two or three specific things you would love to receive
- A link to one of them, if you have one
- What should nobody buy you?
- Any allergies or hard no's? (scents, nuts, alcohol, animal products)
- Sweet, salty, or neither?
- Favourite drink: coffee, tea, cocoa, something stronger, none of the above
- A hobby you are actively doing right now (not one you mean to restart)
- A show, book, game or team you are loudly into
- Something small you keep meaning to buy and never do
- Something you already own too many of
- Your size, if clothing is fair game (and say if it is not)
- Do you prefer useful, funny, cosy, or edible?
- Handmade: yes please, or please no?
- Gift cards: a real answer or a cop-out, in your opinion?
- Is there a colour or style you genuinely avoid?
- Where should the gift go? (desk, home, party, digital)
- Anything else your Santa should know?
Twelve to eighteen questions is the sweet spot. Past twenty, completion rates fall off a cliff and you get one-word answers, which is worse than a short form filled in properly.
Change it for the crowd
| Group | Add | Cut |
|---|---|---|
| Coworkers | Desk or home delivery · what you actually drink at 3pm · one work-safe hobby | Clothing sizes · anything about family or health · home address on a shared sheet |
| Friends | The running joke that must appear · a link to a wishlist · your worst gift ever received | Formal phrasing — nobody fills in a survey from a friend |
| Family across generations | A price-anchored option at the budget · "what would you buy yourself if you allowed yourself to" | Open-ended "what do you want" — that is how grandmothers answer "nothing" |
| Classroom (kids) | Favourite character · book vs craft vs snack · what they collect | Sizes · anything that needs a parent's wallet · allergy details beyond a simple yes/no |
| Remote or cross-city | Delivery address · a digital-gift option · a hard deadline for filling it in | Anything bulky or fragile from the suggestion list |
Scroll the table sideways →
Questions to leave off the form
A questionnaire gets forwarded, screenshotted and left open on a shared drive. Assume everything on it is semi-public and write it accordingly.
- Home address as a form field in an office exchange. Collect it privately, per person, only if gifts are being shipped
- Medical detail. "Any allergies?" with a yes/no and one line is fine; a health history is not a gift brief
- Price ceilings per person. One budget for everyone, stated once by the organizer — not a field people fill in differently
- Anything that outs someone. Religion, family status, whether they drink. If it is not needed to buy a $25 gift, it does not belong on the form
- Their real identity in an anonymous exchange. The whole point is that the gifter knows the answers, not the crowd
This is also the argument against the shared spreadsheet: one link, one tab, everyone's answers and addresses visible to the whole company forever.
How to actually send it
That last row is how secret.gift works, and it is why our questionnaire is not a separate document: each person writes their own answers on their own screen, and after the draw the answers travel to their gifter — not to the group, not to the organizer, not to a tab someone forgot to restrict. If you want the pretty version with pictures, prices and store links, the wishlist tool does the same job with product cards, and people can reserve items without you seeing.
| Method | Good for | The catch |
|---|---|---|
| Printed slips | One room, one party, kids' classrooms | Half come back blank, the rest get lost; the organizer retypes everything |
| Group chat message | Small friend groups, five to eight people | Answers scroll away; nobody can find theirs three weeks later |
| Google Form / survey tool | Big offices that already live in a spreadsheet | The organizer sees every answer, and matching answers to secret pairs by hand is the actual work |
| A wishlist attached to the person | Any exchange where the draw is already online | None worth mentioning — but it only exists if your draw tool has it |
Scroll the table sideways →
How to fill one in without being useless
The other half of the problem is the answers. "Surprise me!" is not generous, it is delegation — your gifter now has to guess with a deadline and a budget.
- Give three options at different prices, so whoever drew you can match the budget without doing maths
- Say the thing you actually want, even if it feels small. A specific $8 hot sauce beats a vague $30 "something nice"
- Include one link. One. It removes every ambiguity about model, size and colour
- Answer the do-not-buy question honestly — it is the most useful line on the form and the one people leave blank
- If you truly need nothing, ask for something consumable: good coffee, a bottle, a box of something. It gets used and it does not become clutter
Budget-anchored ideas are easier to write than to invent on the spot — the gift ideas by budget list is a decent menu to pick from when your mind goes blank.
The timing nobody plans
Send the questionnaire with the invite, not after the draw. If answers arrive after names are picked, half your gifters have already bought something, and the form becomes decoration.
Give people a deadline three days before the draw, then draw on the date you announced whether or not everyone answered. Waiting for the last two people is how a December exchange becomes a January one — the work playbook has the full timeline if you are running this for an office.
Frequently asked questions
What should a Secret Santa questionnaire include?
At minimum: two or three specific things the person would like, a do-not-buy line, and where the gift should go. Useful extras are drink of choice, a current hobby, sizes if clothing is allowed, and whether handmade gifts are welcome. Skip anything you would not want the whole office to read.
How many questions should it have?
Twelve to eighteen. Fewer than ten and the answers stay too vague to shop from; more than twenty and people write one word per line or abandon the form entirely.
What questions work for a Secret Santa at work?
Keep it work-safe and desk-shaped: what they drink during the day, a hobby they are happy to share with colleagues, useful vs funny vs edible, a do-not-buy line, and whether the gift goes to their desk or gets shipped. Leave out clothing sizes, health details and home addresses on a shared form.
Should the questionnaire be anonymous?
The answers should be attached to a name — the gifter needs to know whose brief they are reading. What stays secret is the pairing. In an online exchange the answers reach only the person who drew you; on a shared spreadsheet everybody reads everything, which is a different thing entirely.
When should I send it out?
With the invitation, before the draw, with a deadline three days ahead of it. Answers that arrive after the draw are too late for the people who shop early — and those are the people who shop well.
Do I need a questionnaire at all?
You need the information, not the document. If your draw happens online, a wishlist field on each person's profile collects the same answers and delivers them to the right gifter automatically — no form to hand out, retype or chase.
Wanda Wishlist. Believes every gifting disaster starts with 'oh, surprise me'. Teaches people to write wishlists that are specific enough to work and vague enough to keep the magic.
Keep reading
Skip the form: create a group, and everyone writes their own brief for their own gifter.
Start a Secret Santa